Outside the supermarket this lunchtime an old lady was shouting for assistance, needing help putting her shopping into her bags. I obliged but soon ended up carrying her shopping a few hundred yards up the road to her bus stop. This would have been fine had it not included trying to cross 5 lanes of city centre traffic. I was ok, but it turned out the old lady was a touch mad or a touch drunk. Or both.
She almost got run over twice and when I tried to hurry her up to save her from the juggernaught bombing toward her she merely said "no one in Auckland is going to run me over - I'm an Auckland pedestrian. And do you know what I'd do if they did? Kill 'em."
Ok.
She was very nice though and gave me a hug to say thanks. Although I would have preferred a couple of the beers I'd just carried for her. She also said that a nice young girl would be lucky to have me.
Bless.
Did you hear that, nice young girls of Auckland? You'd be lucky to have me. Form an orderly queue please.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
5 comments:
Q. What have Richard Hammond and Elton John got in common?
A. They've both got skid marks on their helmets.
Lunt, since when did this become a smutty joke forum?
rofl, n00b. this is teh internetz, it is one big smutty joke forum lol omfg!1!!!11!! lmfao!!1!!
Ahem... back to the subject. So let's get this straight, Gartside. You approached a defenceless old woman, stole her shopping, abducted her and tried to push her in front of a speeding truck. She begged you not to kill her, whereupon you forced yourself on her ("just a little cuddle...") before a passing bus came to her rescue. Young girls of Auckland beware... this man is dangerous.
There were 12 beers in the bag Smaje. That will be my defence in court.
Post a Comment