Read, then peruse the pics below...

This weekend is being spent nursing my body and my wallet. That's why I stayed in on Friday night and watched America's Next Top Model followed by the morning session of the 3rd England Test. It's also why I'm spending my Saturday afternoon in an internet place updating you all.

There is a valid reason for this soft-arsedness, and that reason is last weekend.

Well, it started on Wednesday really. We decided on a bit of a flat night out, to celebrate Kat getting back from her work trip, Rob moving in and the fact that it's a cheap student night in Parnell. After a few drinks at home we got a taxi to Parnell at about 11.30pm (this doesn't sound good already, seeing as I get up for work at 6.15). We went to an Irish pub called the Bog and watched the end of a rugby game, then moved on to George where the ladies danced and the lads discussed the merits of Sambucca.

We got back home at about 3, me and Rob had a couple more beers, and I finally went to bed some time after 4. Unsurprisingly I ignored my 6.15 alarm, although I did wake up at 8 and made it into work for 8.45. Productivity that day was fairly low.

After a quite 36 hours, I met up with Si after work on Friday and we set off on a mini road trip to Rotorua... the town of geyesers (in the non-cockney sense), and hot pools. And, it stinks of rotten eggs. We went out for a couple (turned in to 7) drinks on Friday, generally mooched around all day Saturday then went out for a big night. Drink of choice...Long Island Iced Teas.

I'm not sure if I've mentioned this but over here drinks are served in double measures (30ml) and you have to request singles (15ml). The first LIIT we had was served using singles, so it was effectively an English treble. The second one we had used doubles....so 6 English shots in one glass. It wasn't long before I was up on a table in the middle of a crowded dancefloor, shaking my booty to the Pussycat Dolls whilst the locals looked on. In awe, no doubt. Although I don't remember, we got back to the hostel at about 5am. Fortunately, there are no pictures of this night...I unusually didn't take my camera with me.

So this brings us, dazed, nauseous and shaking to Sunday. We're not done yet. Sunday night was the Lewisham awards. These are the Auckland hospitality industry's Oscars and Leanne's brother, Shane, was up for most innovative Chef. We went along for the ceremony in the Sky City conference centre, where unfortunately Shane missed out on the award. I'm convinced these people would make the Ukrainian political system look good.

After the ceremony (spit), we went on to Float, a fancy place in the Viaduct, and the magnificent free bar. It was $60 a ticket (£20), but this was recouped in about 20 minutes and it was profit all the way after that.

There was a great band on, and a great (Funkademia style) DJ, but surprisingly most people seemed to have left by about 1. Undeterred, a few of us stayed on until being kicked out around 4.30. Hard core. After this I remember Shane giving me and one of his mates (Liv) a piggy back at the same time...strong get. I also remember eating a mince and cheese pie (could be the national dish here) and waking up at about noon the next day feeling shocking. I'd cleverly booked the day off work.

So here I am, 4 working days, 1 (triumphant) indoor cricket game, 200 gallons of water and about 3 meals later....just starting to feel vaguely human again.

Only a few days until my birthday night out and England's first game - it's a race against time to be 100% for that.

Now see below for a small selection of pictures from last weeks excessses...

MUM...I PROMISE I'M NOT AN ALCOHOLIC